When People Say “It’s Just a Pet”

Not everyone understands the depth of the human–animal bond. You are not responsible for educating them.

Protective responses you can use:

• Keep it brief:
  “They were family to me.”
• Refuse to explain:
  Silence or a subject change is a boundary.
• Shut it down calmly:
  “That comment isn’t helpful.”
• Walk away if needed:
  You don’t owe anyone your emotional labor.

Remember:

• Minimizing comments reflect their limitations, not yours.
• Your grief does not require permission.

Protecting Your Heart in a Room Full of Celebration

Holiday joy can feel isolating when you’re grieving. You don’t need to perform happiness.

Emotional self-protection strategies:

• Set expectations low:
  You’re allowed to be quiet, distant, or detached.
• Take breaks without guilt:
  Stepping outside is self-preservation.
• Limit conversations:
  You choose what you share—and with whom.
• Have an exit plan:
  Leaving early is an act of care, not weakness.

Self-Care During the Holidays After Pet Loss

Grief is exhausting. Conserving your energy matters.

Practical self-care tips:

• Honor your pet privately:
  A candle, photo, or keepsake can ground you.
• Stick to physical basics:
  Food, water, and rest are non-negotiable.
• Create daily quiet time:
  Even five minutes helps regulate emotions.
• Say no more often:
  Your capacity is limited—and that’s okay.

If Attending Feels Like Too Much

You are allowed to choose yourself.

• You can skip gatherings entirely.
• You can stay briefly and leave early.
• You can decline explanations.

Grief is not something to “push through.” It’s something to be carried with care.

Final Thought

Your pet mattered. Your loss is real.
Protecting yourself during the holidays isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

You don’t need to justify your grief.
You need to honor it.

The post Navigating Holiday Gatherings After the Loss of a Pet first appeared on .

With a little awareness, preparation, and kid-friendly guidance, you can protect your pet’s emotional well-being while still enjoying gatherings with family and friends.

Why the Holidays Can Be Stressful for Pets

Even the most social animals can struggle during this season. Common stressors include:

• Unfamiliar people and scents
• Changes in routine or environment
• Increased noise levels
• Kids’ high energy and unpredictable movements
• Limited quiet spaces to retreat to

Pets express stress differently — some become clingy, others withdraw, hide, bark, growl, pace, or show subtle body language cues. Knowing these signals is the first step to protecting their emotional health.

Signs Your Pet May Be Overwhelmed

Dogs

• Lip licking, yawning, or turning their head away
• Whale eye (seeing the whites of their eyes)
• Pacing or unable to settle
• Excessive barking
• Hiding or attempting to escape
• Growling or snapping — a sign of fear, not “bad behavior”

Cats

• Tail flicking
• Ears flattened or rotated
• Hiding in high or enclosed spaces
• Dilated pupils
• Sudden irritability or swatting

If you see these signs, it’s time to give them space and comfort.

Why Reprimanding a Stressed Pet Can Make Things Worse

During the holidays, pets are often surrounded by unfamiliar energy, loud voices, new smells, and people moving through their space all at once. When they react by barking, hiding, growling, or pacing, it’s not “bad behavior” — it’s communication.

Reprimanding or scolding a pet during these moments can actually increase fear and anxiety. It teaches the animal that not only is the environment unsafe — but now their human is unsafe too. This can lead to:

• Heightened fear responses
• Shut-down behavior
• Increased reactivity
• Or even defensive aggression

Instead of punishment, focus on support and redirection:

• Gently guide them to their quiet space
• Lower noise and stimulation when possible
• Offer calming support — not correction
• Remove them from overwhelming situations rather than forcing them to “cope”

Your pet isn’t trying to be difficult. They’re navigating an environment that feels confusing, unpredictable, and emotionally intense. Choosing patience over punishment protects their emotional health and keeps everyone safer.

Creating a “Holiday Haven” for Your Pet

Set up a calm, pet-only retreat before guests arrive:

• Choose a quiet room away from high-traffic areas
• Add comfort items like their bed, blankets, or favorite toys
• Provide water and a soothing chew or puzzle toy
• Use calming aids if needed (pheromone diffusers, calming music, white noise)
• Let guests — especially kids — know this is the pet’s special space and not to enter

Giving your pet control over when they engage helps reduce stress and anxiety.

Managing Pet Interactions with Guests

• Allow pets to approach on their own terms
• Create pet-free zones to prevent overwhelm
• Use gates, pens, or leashes to maintain boundaries
• Offer frequent decompression breaks so pets can reset

Remember: a tired or overstimulated pet is more likely to react negatively.

Teaching Kids to Interact Safely with Pets

Holidays often mean excited children, and pets don’t always understand their enthusiasm. Coaching kids ahead of time prevents accidents and fosters respectful interactions.

1. “Ask Before You Touch” Rule

Teach kids to always ask a grown-up and the animal for permission.
Animals “say yes or no” with their body language.

• Yes signs: loose body, soft eyes, approaching, leaning in
• No signs: backing away, hiding, stiffness, growling, hissing, ears back

2. The Two-Finger Petting Rule

Perfect for toddlers and young children:

• Pet with two gentle fingers
• Only on safe zones: back, shoulders, or chest
• Short, soft strokes — no squeezing or patting

This reduces overwhelm and trains kids to be gentle and respectful.

3. No Hugs, No Riding, No Pulling

Many kids show affection physically — but to most animals, these behaviors feel scary or painful.

Be clear about what’s off-limits:

• No hugging around the neck
• No lying on the dog or cat
• No pulling tails, fur, ears, or whiskers
• No picking up cats unless everyone is calm and prepared

4. Be a “Pet Detective” Game

Teach kids to look for clues in the pet’s body language. Turn it into fun:

• “What do you think the pet is feeling right now?”
• “Is that a happy tail or a worried tail?”

This builds empathy and helps children develop animal awareness.

5. Set Time Limits

Young children can overwhelm pets without realizing it.

Try guidelines like:

“Pet for five seconds, then stop and see what the pet does.”

If the pet stays or leans in — continue.

If they walk away — that’s a ‘no thank you.’

This teaches consent in an age-appropriate way.

—

When to Step In

Kids and pets should always be supervised. Step in immediately if:

Your pet is cornered

A child is too excited or rough

The pet’s body language shows stress

Kids forget the rules

Stopping the interaction keeps everyone safe, confident, and comfortable.

—

Final Thoughts

Holidays are about connection — and that includes respecting your pet’s emotional needs. By avoiding reprimands, offering appropriate support, preparing quiet spaces, and coaching kids on gentle, respectful interaction, your home can remain both festive and pet-friendly.

The post Helping Pets Feel Emotionally Safe During the Holidays first appeared on .

Holiday Foods That Can Harm Pets

Even a small bite of certain holiday favorites can cause serious health problems for pets. Be careful with these common foods:

• 🍫 CHOCOLATE — Toxic to pets due to theobromine and caffeine; can cause vomiting, tremors, and seizures.
• 🧁 XYLITOL (in sugar-free gum, candy, baked goods) — Can cause dangerous drops in blood sugar and liver failure in dogs.
• 🧅 ONIONS, GARLIC & CHIVES — Found in stuffing, gravies, and sides; can damage red blood cells and lead to anemia.
• 🍖 COOKED BONES — Splinter easily and can cause choking or internal injuries.
• 🥓 FATTY FOODS (turkey skin, ham, gravies) — Can cause vomiting, diarrhea, and pancreatitis.
• 🍷 ALCOHOL — Even small amounts can cause vomiting, disorientation, or respiratory distress.
• 🍇 RAISINS & GRAPES — Can cause kidney failure in dogs; common in fruitcakes and cookies.
• 🍬 CANDY & GUM (especially sugar-free with xylitol) — Highly toxic and may cause seizures or liver damage.

Decorations That Pose a Risk

Holiday décor can be irresistible to curious pets. Keep an eye on hazards such as:

• 🎀 TINSEL & RIBBON — Especially dangerous to cats; ingestion can cause intestinal blockage requiring surgery.
• 💡 STRING LIGHTS & ORNAMENTS — Chewing can cause oral injuries or dangerous gastrointestinal obstruction.
• 🔔 HANGING ORNAMENTS — Easily broken and may cause cuts or internal injury if swallowed.
• 🎁 WRAPPING PAPER & RIBBON — Some contain toxic dyes or metals; ingestion can cause GI irritation or blockage.
• ⚡ HOLIDAY LIGHT CORDS — Pets may chew cords, risking electrical shock or burns.
• 🌿 HOLLY (LEAVES ONLY) — Spiny leaves can cause painful oral injuries.
• 🌿 MISTLETOE — Poisonous; may cause vomiting, diarrhea, or abnormal heart rate.
• 🌲 TREE WATER — Can contain bacteria, mold, or fertilizer that causes vomiting or diarrhea if ingested.
• ❄️ SNOW GLOBES — Some contain toxic antifreeze (ethylene glycol).
• 🌺 POINSETTIAS, LILIES & OTHER SEASONAL PLANTS — May cause vomiting, drooling, or more severe reactions depending on the plant.

Essential Oils That Are Toxic to Pets

Many essential oils commonly diffused during the holidays can harm pets — especially cats.

Avoid using or diffusing these oils around animals:

• Tea Tree (Melaleuca)
• Eucalyptus
• Peppermint
• Cinnamon
• Pine
• Wintergreen
• Sweet Birch
• Clove
• Ylang Ylang
• Citrus oils (lemon, orange, grapefruit, bergamot)

Exposure may cause drooling, vomiting, difficulty breathing, tremors, or liver damage.

Keeping Your Pets Safe

A few simple steps can make your holidays safer for pets:

• Keep human food, decorations, and essential oils out of reach.
• Offer pet-safe toys and treats so they don’t feel left out.
• Supervise pets around décor, candles, and Christmas trees.
• Choose high-quality toys and treats over inexpensive holiday “impulse buys” that may contain unsafe materials.
• Contact your veterinarian or an emergency clinic immediately if your pet ingests something questionable.

Pro Tip:
Keep your veterinarian’s phone number, your nearest 24-hour emergency clinic, and the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center (888-426-4435) easily accessible. Quick action can save your pet’s life.

Stay Connected With Your Pet’s Well-Being

If you’re ready to deepen your bond with your animal and gain intuitive insight into their emotional, physical, and energetic needs, I’m here to help.

As Tamarah Wild — Pet Psychic & Medium, I offer compassionate guidance, animal communication, and support for understanding your pet on a soul level.

👉 Visit: TamarahWild.com
👉 Book a session: Connect with your pet’s messages, behaviors, and emotional needs
👉 Follow along for more pet wellness, safety tips, and intuitive teachings

Your pets trust you — and I’m here to help you understand them even more deeply.

FAQ: Holiday Pet Safety

❓ What holiday foods are most dangerous for pets?
Chocolate, xylitol, raisins, grapes, alcohol, onions, garlic, cooked bones, and fatty foods are among the most dangerous. Even small amounts can cause vomiting, seizures, pancreatitis, or organ damage.

❓ Are Christmas trees safe for pets?
Christmas trees can be risky. Pets may chew electrical cords, swallow ornaments, or drink contaminated tree water. Always supervise your pet around a decorated tree and secure the tree to prevent tipping.

❓ Can pets be around essential oils during the holidays?
Many essential oils — including tea tree, eucalyptus, peppermint, cinnamon, pine, and citrus oils — can be toxic to pets if diffused, ingested, or applied to their skin. Avoid diffusing oils in shared spaces unless confirmed safe for animals.

❓ What holiday plants should I keep away from my pets?
Poinsettias, holly, mistletoe, and lilies can cause stomach upset, drooling, or more severe toxic reactions. Keep these plants out of reach or opt for high-quality artificial alternatives.

❓ How can I keep my pets calm during holiday gatherings?
Provide a quiet, safe space away from guests, noise, and activity. Use familiar bedding, toys, calming music, or pheromone diffusers designed for pets. Avoid essential oils unless they are certified pet-safe.

❓ What should I do if my pet eats something toxic?
Contact your veterinarian or the nearest 24-hour emergency clinic immediately. You can also call the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center (888-426-4435) for urgent guidance.

The post Holiday Hazards: Foods, Decorations, and Essential Oils That Can Harm Your Pets first appeared on .

Saying goodbye to a pet is one of life’s most difficult experiences. Pets bring unconditional love, comfort, and joy, and losing them can feel devastating. A pet death doula provides compassionate end-of-life support, helping both pets and their families navigate this sacred, but painful, chapter.

As an animal communicator, I  connect with your pet to understand their feelings and needs, and then share this information with you, ensuring their comfort and dignity throughout this transition. Together, we create a calm, loving environment where your pet feels safe, supported, and honored in their final days.

My Role as a Pet Death Doula and Animal Communicator

As a pet death doula and animal communicator, I support you and your beloved animal during this sacred, but painful, chapter. I provide:

Comfort, presence, and guidance for pets and their families.

Animal communication to understand your pet’s feelings, needs, and preferences.

Guidance for rituals, care, and end-of-life decisions.

Emotional reassurance for both pets and family members.

I also help families:

Understand what to expect during this chapter.

Navigate difficult decisions with compassion.

Create moments of peace, beauty, and dignity.

Support children in understanding and coping with their pet’s passing.

Support with decision-making for cremation, burial, or other arrangements

Aftercare Support

After your pet has passed, I provide continued support to help your family process grief and honor your pet’s memory. This can include:

Emotional support for family members, including children.

Guidance on rituals or memorials to celebrate your pet’s life.

Help with coping strategies for grief and loss.

Follow-up conversations to address questions or emotions that arise in the weeks after your pet’s passing.

My Philosophy

I believe saying goodbye to a pet is a time for focus on comfort, peace, and meaningful rituals.  I’ll help you connect deeply with your pet by sharing their messages to you, as well as your messages to them.

Why This Matters

Pets are family, accompanying us through milestones and everyday joys. With a pet death doula and animal communicator, families can:

Move through this chapter with peace and understanding.

Honor their pet’s needs and preferences.

Receive guidance and support for emotional and practical challenges.

Ensure their animal companion experiences comfort and dignity.

Support children in understanding and processing grief.

Benefits of working with me:

Free 20-minute consultation to discuss your needs and your pet’s situation.

Personalized guidance through this sacred, but painful, chapter.

Emotional and practical support for your family and pet.

Animal communication to better understand your animal companion’s feelings and preferences.

Ideas and support for children and memorials to honor your pet.

Aftercare support to help families process grief and find peace.

Reach out today—I’m here to help you and your companion every step of the way.

~Tamarah

Pet Death Doula

Tamarahwildccmt@gmail.com

The post What Does a Pet Death Doula Do? first appeared on .

The other day I posted about making certain your pet is chipped and collared. This post?

ZING BOOOM! baaaaNNNGGG!!

Today I’m addressing the dreaded SKY BOOMS and how to help your noise triggered pet survive July 4th!

If you’re fortunate enough to have a pet who isn’t reactive to noise, count your lucky sparklers! As a dog professional I’ve worked with dozens of noise sensitive dogs (and have one myself) that range from slightly nervous to full on super freaked out. If you have a super freaked out pet, chances are good you already have an anxiety regimen. If you do not, please contact your vet immediately to find a solution prior to this weekend’s festivities.

For those of you who have dogs lower on the anxiety spectrum I’ll share a few things my clients and I use for our pets to help reduce their anxiety during fireworks and storms.

• Calming chews.
• CBD treats and chews.
• Thunder jacket.
• Melatonin for pets.
• Rescue Remedy for pets.
• Pheromone spray for dogs.
• Weighted blankets.
• White noise machine.
• Same day Reiki and Massage
• Vet prescribed medicines.

At home, identify their safe space. My boy, Jack, hides under the top corner of the master bed, so I put his bed there and the sound machine on the floor with him. I spray his bandana with a calming pheromone, then tie it around his neck. He will have taken his prescribed anxiety medicine at least an hour prior. He likes to be left alone. One of my clients is good as long as she is buried under a bunch of covers and pillows. There will likely be several days of noise and you and your pup will identify his safe place and favorite soothers.

Pro Tip:

Wear your pup out that day. Play, swim, hike, bike. Do all the stuff. A tired pup is much more likely to sleep than stress.

Second Pro Tip:

Don’t fret. They can feel your anxiety. So breathe through this. Just know your pup is safe and sound inside the home, and if you’ve utilized any of these tips, is probably snoozing away, oblivious of the SKY BOOMS ????.

Happy 4th!

The post How Can I Help My Anxious Dog ? July 4th Part 2 first appeared on .

Most people would agree massage is also beneficial for working dogs and athletes who’ve over-exerted their bodies. It speeds recovery and healing, relaxes tight, stressed muscles and can help realign the body.

But consider your weekend warrior dog. The dog that goes hiking or camping with you, or to the lake house, or to your folks’ farm, or spends a great deal of the weekend romping at different dog parks. Or runs with you while you ride your bike. That dog has jumped and cut like a barrel horse. Hips and spine and shoulders and knees have had a serious workout. You’ll recognize it by the way he sleeps for two days afterward. He’s tuckered out!

That dog needs a massage! His muscles are sore. He may be a little stiff and probably won’t want to play much for a day or two. If he’s five or older he might have some inflammation in his joints which you might recognize if his joint is a bit hot.

Now think about just any dog. Any dog that may or may not have a backyard. May or may not have to be alone much of the day. Might be one of the breeds like doxies and corgis, that are prone to hip problems. Might have anxiety or behavioral problems. May be a rescue with a history of trauma. May be a foster trying to transition to a new environment. EVERY SINGLE SCENARIO WOULD BENEFIT GREATLY FROM MASSAGE. Massage relieves anxiety, builds trust, promotes relaxation, promotes healthy muscles to support joints, boosts the immune system, stimulates lymphatic system to flush toxins, and so much more.

Even puppies benefit from massage: increased circulation, boosted immunity, relief from muscle aches, growing pains. So, the answer to the question
“At what age does my dog need a professional massage?“
EVERY AGE BENEFITS FROM MASSAGE.
How do I find a dog massage therapist?
Good question!
Ask your vet.
You can google and check websites.
You can Yelp to see what people are saying.
You can ask other dog people for recommendations.
But definitely make sure they are certified, and research where they received their certification. (I went to Ohio for my training and certification.)

Massage helps reduce Birdie’s anxiety.

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The post Reiki first appeared on .

“My vet says Bogey has arthritis.”

Here are a few of the benefits of massage for senior dogs:

• pain management
• reduced swelling in joints
• increased blood flow and oxygen to muscles
• increased range of motion, flexibility and mobility.
• helps maintain muscle mass.

“I think my dog has anxiety. Would massage help?”

Massage helps relieve anxiety by releasing oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. But what does anxiety look like? Sometimes what we think is poor behavior or normal dog behavior is actually anxiety.

Some of the ways anxiety presents:

• panting
• pacing or restlessness
• excessive barking, howling
• shivering, cowering
• destroying things
• digging
• excessive licking or grooming
• not eating
• resource guarding
• depression
• aggression Anxiety in dogs can be treated. There are options-medications and holistic treatments like massage and Reiki (which is also one of our services.) Your dog deserves to be happy.

“Sugarpie is recovering from surgery and my vet said a massage could help her recovery.”

After surgery, with the vet’s approval, massage can help your dog in several ways:

• reduces pain
• reduces swelling
• increases circulation
• minimizes scar tissue
• stimulates lymphatic system to remove toxins
• reduces anxiety

Massage for Working and Sporting Dogs

These are police and service dogs, show dogs, therapy dogs, search and rescue and comfort dogs, and athlete dogs, to name a few. These dogs have stresses that most dogs do not have.

Physically these dogs benefit from a pre-work or competition massage as well as an end of day massage to loosen tight muscles and stimulate the lymphatic systems to release toxins.

Some dogs work in crisis situations, some are there to search and rescue, or to offer comfort in tremendously difficult times. Massage helps these dogs release the energies and traumas they’ve absorbed.

When Not To Get A Dog Massage

There are times when a massage could be dangerous for your dog. Do not get your dog a massage if s/he has or is

• overheated
• in shock
• when there is initial swelling
• tumors, cysts or cancer
• fungal skin problems

So, whether your dog is recovering from an injury or celebrating his Gotcha Day, canine massage benefits the entire dog, physically and emotionally.

All massage clients must have veterinarian release for care. As a regular client please inform us if the health of your dog has changed.

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